Wednesday, May 14, 2014

On Being a Working Mother



A few days ago, I came across this article online--You know you are a working mom when...."

When I read it, at first I was a little confused. This doesn't really describe my life, I thought. And if this IS an accurate depiction of someone's real life, day in, day out.....that's sad.

I also felt a bit irritated. Had I read an article like this as a pregnant mom anxious about my upcoming decision--or, heaven forbid, as an emotional new mother flying through my maternity leave--I would have been weeping hysterically. And I possibly would have made different choices because of it.

With those thoughts in mind, I wanted to share some comments to the article from the perspective of another working mom.

You know you are a working mom when....you always feel mediocre. A mediocre mom, a mediocre wife, a mediocre employee, a mediocre friend, daughter, housekeeper, you name it. You want to give 100 percent to everything in your life so you are left feeling like you always come up short.

You know you are a working mom when ...
You always feel mediocre. A mediocre mom, a mediocre wife, a mediocre employee, a mediocre friend, daughter, housekeeper, you name it. You want to give 100 percent to everything in your life so you are left feeling like you always come up short. - See more at: http://www.rockfordparent.com/article/20140219/News/140219123#sthash.uZOWZxrX.dpuf
You know you are a working mom when ...
You always feel mediocre. A mediocre mom, a mediocre wife, a mediocre employee, a mediocre friend, daughter, housekeeper, you name it. You want to give 100 percent to everything in your life so you are left feeling like you always come up short. - See more at: http://www.rockfordparent.com/article/20140219/News/140219123#sthash.uZOWZxrX.dpuf
You know you are a working mom when ...
You always feel mediocre. A mediocre mom, a mediocre wife, a mediocre employee, a mediocre friend, daughter, housekeeper, you name it. You want to give 100 percent to everything in your life so you are left feeling like you always come up short.
- See more at: http://www.rockfordparent.com/article/20140219/News/140219123#sthash.uZOWZxrX.dpuf
Do I feel like a mediocre mom sometimes? Absolutely! But you know what? The other day I had a long conversation with a good friend about our insecurities as mothers. She's a stay at home mom, I work outside the home four days a week. And our impressions were pretty much the same. It/s easy to feel as a working mom that if we were only at home all day, parenting would be so much easier and our kids wouldn't have trouble listening to us/brushing their teeth/eating their vegetables. But this is really more of a "grass is greener" mentality than actual truth.  The truth is that parenting is hard. No matter how you do it!

Do I feel like a mediocre employee? For the most part, no. Yes, there are days when I'm tired/ burnt out/ on week #3 of the arctic vortex and sick of it/ etc., but that was the case before I had kids as well. No one's perfect all of the time.

When I first graduated law school, I took some time off and for the first time in my life, wasn't working or in school, and didn't have kids yet. And yet I still  never had enough time! There was always more to do than there was time to do it in. That's always true of life, especially when you have young kids--stay at home or not.

Although I will admit to being a mediocre housekeeper. But I've always been that way. It's just more interesting to spend ten minutes reading that new book I picked up about Amish people than scrubbing gook off the bottom of the oven:)



You know you are a working mom when....You spend the day wondering what your child is doing at daycare while you sit at a desk and spend 8-plus hours with co-workers...

Ok, true confession time. I don't spend my workday mooning over pictures of my kids. Yes, I love my kids. Yes, I think about them. But for most of my work hours, I'm focused, energized, and busy with my work. The hours fly by, and then I look forward to getting to my little ones.

You know you are a working mom when.....You finally get your kids home and instead of sitting down and playing with them you have to prep and cook dinner. 

This is a genuinely hard part of working motherhood, although I think all moms have to choose between "getting things done" and "playtime" no matter what their situation. You do have the freedom to make choices, though--dinner can be chicken nuggets and 5-minute chili instead of risotto (and risotto can be made once the kiddos go to sleep, as well).



Being a working mom is hard. So is being a stay at home mom. So is working part time. Believe, there are times when I hate my situation (being stuck in traffic through pouring rain on the turnpike comes to mind) but overall, I feel very fortunate to live a life that enriches the various parts of me--the wife, the mother, the lawyer, the activist, and even, pccasionally, the housekeeper:)

So to all the moms out there, pregnant or on leave and terrified of going back to work---trust me, it's not all that bad.

And to all moms out there, no matter what your arrangement is--may we all have the wisdom to make the choices that are best for us and our families, and to be happy, joyful, and focused on the good no matter life we're leading.

7 comments:

  1. really love this thoughtful, heartfelt post. Thanks!

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  2. That was a really great read. :)

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  3. Beautiful, thanks for sharing. I am not a mother yet, nor am I a mother-to-be, but I do hope to be sometime soon. I am working on starting my own business teaching online that I hope will allow me to be a work-at-home mum. Best and worst of both worlds, but no getting stuck in traffic.

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  4. :) A couple of days ago we were told the free parking lot we park in was closing and our only options were to either street park, pay for a lot, or take public transportation. Since I bring so much with me to work and usually need to run somewhere right after work, public transportation was not an option. Of course I don't want to add another monthly expense, so I opted to arrive to school about 1.5 hours in advance, and hang out in my car for almost an hour. When asked about it, I said of course I was tired, but that it was kind of nice to wake up before everyone, make my lunch in silence and escape out the door peacefully. And I always appreciate a good reason to get dressed and put on makeup ;)

    Thankfully we found out we once again have access to the free lot-but I will kind of miss my quiet mornings.

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  5. Agreed...I have been blessed enough todo all three as a mom.....work full time, be a full time stay at home diva and now a part timer so I can honestly say that they are all challenging....I keep changing how I do things as I go and some days I am fabulous and other days, just ok....we are our own worst critics!

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment! I love hearing your thoughts:)