Blog Your Heart Out

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I love this post on Stephanie's blog and decided to play along, even though I'm a bit late in the day. (Don't be alarmed by the 2 post thing--don't see it happening THAT often, ha!)

1. I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. Now, I am a strictly "8 hours of uninterrrupted sleep a night" kind of gal. And while I realized that was not going to happen once Bunny comes along, I did not realize it would start with pregnancy! After several days of trying to manage work, job interviews, catch-up from vacation, and running the house on 4 or 5 hours of sleep, I'm a little cranky. And then I feel guilty for being cranky, as if the fact that I wanted this baby so badly means I never get to feel the side effects of pregnancy. But I think, deep down, I do feel guilty, I do feel that I want this so much, I should love the fact that I'm tossing and turning all night and edging S out of the bed with my ginormous body pillow. So the cycle continues....

2. I tend to get stressed about getting things done that don't really matter all that much. Like going through my enormous pile of post-its accumulated over the past few weeks. Or organizing my Things list. Or cleaning my bathtub (although maybe that really does matter, ha!) I wish I could spend more time on the long-lasting things in life and less time just trying to get from day to day.

3. I haven't even had the kid, and I already worry about how I will balance pursuing my own dreams and being the mother I want to be. Jury's out on this one, and probably will be for a while.

4. I wish S was home for dinner more the past few weeks. But I'm so grateful for his job at the same time.

5. I wish I had more confidence in myself. That has been the single most present battle in my life.

6. I wish I wasn't always so worried about something happening to this baby.

7. I am so amazed and grateful to be 18 weeks today. If not for the belly, I really wouldn't believe it. Sometimes I think about how I would have felt if I could see a photo of myself today a year ago, and how much peace it would have brought me. Today is a good day.

So there's my reality today. If you did a post like this, please link me--I'd love to see.